Once again I crave for normalcy; to be like everyone else and conform my mind to the norms of society. Tell me how, not why. How could I have lived the past year till now, knowing the future is cursed.

I loathe acting out my life, having a mask stuck on the face. I miss being totally ignorant. After all, truthfully so, ignorance is bliss.

So tired… I don’t even know what to think.

Neglect my unreasonable wants. You have your own mind; I anticipate outright contempt and disgust if you ever knew. And somehow I know, my simple want from anyoneelse, family included, will face the same derision. I’m physically unprepared for my renunciation.

Once again how could I have lived, knowing one day I WILL be renounced and unloved; isolated to die alone. My past screams heard only by the deaf; my tears only behind doors. The dead old man whom I had loved will rise, just to tell me I never should have been born nor loved.

Sighs… Ignore me and fear me. I’m a mere raving lunatic unleashed. Incarcerate me in the abyss. I don’t deserve kindness. LEAVE ME ALONE…

- Logish