So near and yet our hearts exist in different worlds. Salty tears meander from my eyes. But tears have little effect. The most you’d show your disgust or pity. Of which neither I want!

Though your words slice me so deep, I do not blame you. Maybe you mean them or maybe you just bear a mask. It matters not why. However for now, I am a shadow that is taken for granted. If only I could fade.

Sometimes, I wish there were another world. A world where I’m seen, heard and appreciated. Or maybe a world devoid of emotions. I feel powerless. I want to belong somewhere.
To run a shaver across my cornea, so I’d never see the things above my grasp. Snip the tendons of my fingers to prevent them from the hope to hold you. I’d love to hate you because it’d be easier for me. But it wasn’t you who put me in this turmoil. I refuse to attribute blame when I was at fault. I was bloody clumsy to fall for you.

I don’t know what to hope for… really. Hoping for hope seems too desperate. And if desperation does set in, to whom do I hope for hope from? Me. I’m the god of my own destiny…

Note: Rarely in sad entries do I have a right frame of mind. It is heartening to have some form of recovery here. Goodnight to my readers. I’m making an effort to be unambiguous and I hope you feel a gist of my feelings and confusion.

- Logen